In scenes not witnessed since England’s last Six Nations campaign (the good parts, anyway), the mighty Thamesians descended upon the hallowed turf of Twickenham for a touch tournament that promised sun, sweat, and questionable tactical decisions.
After loitering outside the gates like fans hoping to catch a glimpse of Owen Farrell's haircut, we were finally granted access through the home entrance, basking in the moment like true professionals. A quick pilgrimage through the England dressing room had us posing like debutants and whispering sweet nothings to the spirit of Jonny Wilkinson.
Led onto the pitch to thunderous applause from the T’s faithful, we hit the sacred grass with the energy of a team that meant business. We warmed up with drop goals, as anyone would at the home of the game, some landed near the posts, others somewhere near Heathrow.
Attempts inspired by Marcus Smith (2024), Freddie Burns (2022), and of course, Wilkinson (2003) were all dutifully re-enacted with varying degrees of elegance.
Our fixtures were the stuff of suburban legend: five fierce derbies against Richmond, Teddington, Whitton, Old Isleworthians, and Twickenham. One by one, they were dispatched by a style of rugby so sumptuous it should have been served with a side of gravy. Slick passing, daring runs, and grubber kicks felled the opposition (and occasionally ourselves), as Thamesians tore through the local scene like an international side on tour.
By the end, only one thing was clear Twickenham had been conquered. Thamesians will always have the record: played 5, lost 0.
